Three’s a crowd. It’s as simple as that.
Picture the scenario that we have all experienced….your peer/coworker is behaving in a way that is hindering the progress of a project you are working on. You have tried to drop some hints or work around him but to no avail. What do you do? Do you go to his boss? Do you go to HR? I mean, this person is REALLY not getting the picture and you KNOW they should KNOW how their actions are affecting you and your team right?
You’ve reached your tolerance limit so you go to your coworker’s boss. You have just entered the “triangle zone” my friend. You have “triangulated” the issue by involving a third person who is essentially not directly involved and it doesn’t even matter that it was “the boss” that you involved. Now the situation becomes more complex as a third person’s style, opinion, position, etc. comes into play. The dynamics have just increased twofold.
The situation I have just describes happens all the time. The ramifications that ultimately result from this triangulation are like ripples in a pond. They effect the future of your relationship with your coworker in a negative way.
Direct confrontation. Does that sound scary to you? Ok, let’s define confrontation before we go any further. By confrontation, I do not mean stepping up to your coworker and saying “You are messing my stuff up dude!” NO!!!! I mean honest, respectful, direct communication. Remember, your coworker may not even be aware that what they are doing is having such an ill effect on your world.
If you don’t know how to have an honest, respectful, direct discussion where you both walk away feeling better than you did before the conversation while still accomplishing your goal, then contact me. I can help you with that. I have many ideas and easy ways to communicate effectively!